Rrrr. First, let me start off by saying I am not a sufi, but rather an admirer of the science of tasawwuf. I don't have the dedication to completely immerse myself in tasawwuf, but it's one of the things that I hope to explore later in life, when I get other basics down.
My husband comes from a long line of Egyptian sufis. His grandfather was even a sufi sheikh. My husband, however, has rejected sufism in favor of a more Qur'an and Sunnah based approach found in the works of Ibn Hazm. He is not, however, a salafi. Despite his rejection of sufism, he doesn't seem to mind (too much) that I carry on a love affair with sufism and with dhikr. He certainly isn't fond of sufism, but he does read pro-sufism articles from time to time.
I post (on occasion) on Islamway Sister's forum. While I was aware that they are salafi, I haven't felt too alienated from them until yesterday. One of my friends posted a link to one of my favorite websites - Sunnipath. It was deleted, because Sunnipath is a "sufi site." Rrrr. So today, someone else started a thread asking what sufism is. I posted a link to an article by Sheikh Nuh Keller that was a response to claims that sufism is bidah. Now, it just so happened that others on the thread had made the claim that sufism is a bidah. Of course, the mods deleted the link, and proceeded to post how sufism was in fact a bidah, and that Sheikh Nuh is a bidah too.
I've encountered this attitude on other salafi leaning sites as well, like LI Islamic Forum, where my links to Sunnipath and Zaytuna have been deleted.
I lurk more than post on Sunniforum, and although this is a very strict madhab based website, I don't think I've ever seen them delete links to salafi based sites. They certainly warn against salafi authors and books, but I haven't seen anything as extreme as I've encountered on islamway and LI islamic forum.
Perhaps my favorite forum out there is Islamicaweb, which I joined shortly after I converted to Islam. It's populated mainly by teens and 20 something young desis, with a mix of other ummah members thrown in. Most of the posters are muslim, some salafi, some more madhab based, but there has always been a free mix of ideas and exchange of opinions. I like that.
It seems to me that it would be best to present both perspectives, carry on a little debate, and then let people decide for themselves which members of the ulema they would like to follow. That's what I have in my marriage. DH will talk about Ibn Hazm, I'll look to a more madhab based approach, we may disagree, but in the end, both points of view are presented.